You’ve been cruising along, dealing with things for a while, and doing so quite well.
Because, let’s face it, you are a strong and capable woman (or man) who has just always got on with the job and got sh*t done!
Maybe you’ve had no choice but to get up and keep going. Maybe your experience has been to suck it up and take action no matter what (any action is action right?!). Maybe you feel too guilty if you just allowed yourself to wallow in the feels for a bit, feeling weak, vulnerable, and even like a whinging cry baby.
But, I’m here to remind you that sometimes things ‘go wrong’ to help you course correct toward what is more right for you, the situation and everyone involved.
What do you do in those times while you ride that wave of transition?
You know things have to change, but you dislike (or hate) that uncomfortable crap in the process. You just want it over and done with so you can move on! Besides, you are a great action taker, ideas machine and at times are a magical manifester that you even surprise yourself at times!
If you have been anything like me, you’ve been seen as more than capable to ‘handle’ things because you’ve been through a lot and often come out the other side ok! Others see that about you and even come to you when the sh*t hits the fan for them.
You are a natural carer, nurturer, and a woman who wants to make a difference… but also have that ‘business’ alpha side, in which you want to create something of your own that hasn’t been done before in the way YOU would do it.
And at times, nothing feels balanced enough with all the areas of your life being more separated from each other, so you can forget about blending work and home life easily!
You are in the middle with a difficult choice to make…. Business / work priorities or home duties…. And it sucks because you feel that pull like being torn into 2 pieces with the demands of everyone else and no solution that feels like YOU win at the end of the day without feeling bad about it!
I know that you don’t have the time, or that someone needs something so you can’t possibly do that. I’ve had all those thoughts too. And, to be honest, I have to keep an eye on them if they sneak in at times still. But, if you do not do what it takes to take care of YOU first, trust me… everyone and everything else will suffer. Now this will bring up all of your unresolved guilt if you have any. So if you don’t have tools to manage your feelings through this, it’s time to do that now! We need to have some go-to strategies to manage through the emotional journey of making changes. We have taught others how to treat us and if you have been one to always put others needs before yours, without finding ways to create a win:win for you and them, then you will always choose them and the resentment will linger and build until you explode!
Go for a walk in nature, have a bath, play with animals, draw, dance, create something without any particular outcome (for eg; just start to paint and see what happens!), spend some silent time with yourself (including meditation), journal, listen to music, watch a funny movie, or one of my favourite things to do when my system is overloaded by ‘wrong-ness’ ….learn Orientation Tapping (hit me up if you want to work with me to learn how to do this – I teach my clients)
ONLY do this once you are back in your body. This is where you look at that list of priorities that you, hopefully, have got clear and know well. Check in to see if you have been acting in ways that are aligned with these values and make sure that you know what motivations are behind those actions! Are you making decisions based on moving forward with alignment or fear and lack mentality. Have some decisions you made actually not serving you anymore? What are your beliefs around what is happening? How is your emotional state and what needs to change to feel better?
Now that you’ve taken some time to slow down, self-care and re-group, you may be able to speed up again. This is where you are clear on your values, have integrated any unresolved issues, dropped those limiting beliefs that aren’t serving you anymore & have more clarity on what your next best step is. Your next step could be to seek some support to really help with the emotional rollercoaster that you find yourself on, where same ol’ patterns seems to be playing out (again… hit me up!), or to communicate what your new preferences are that you are more aware of now, so those around you can work WITH you to help you feel good. Knowing what your ‘YES’ is rather than violating your own boundaries for the sake of being ‘nice’ is imperative if we want to make a difference in our future! There is a difference between being ‘nice’ and being KIND.
We must be KIND to ourselves as much as anyone else. Often, we haven’t learned HOW to do that!
Don’t wait to find out the harder way. Start now. Get help. And know that this is not weak. It is the STRONGEST thing that you’ll ever do for you and the world. Choose your wellbeing so you can show up. Choose your self-care so you are more capable, can get up when life knocks you over (because it will!), & choose your strategies to make sure that you are your best friend and know how valuable you are!
Be like Elvis …
Angela Joy Johnson